Just the ticket

I'm waiting to catch the bus home. I've just missed the number 28 bus to Ringmer, which now seems really pleased with itself. This is clear from the enthusiastic behaviour I've recently observed. You see, every half an hour the bus arrives outside Waitrose after driving down Market Street and past both ends of East Street. Having collected its passengers - sometimes kneeling to help those less-agile travellers - it then does a victory lap by heading up School Hill and away from Ringmer before going back down Market Street again. Yes, I’m sure that’s a victory lap. It's the kind of celebration you don't usually see unless you’re at a Grand Prix circuit. Much as I'm inclined to commend anyone who enjoys their job, it seems a bit extreme. If this sort of showboating is allowed to continue, there'll be drift-racing round the bus station before long.

Perhaps it's pleased at having seen off a young upstart. Just over a year ago we were blessed with the appearance of hybrid buses on the 28 route. These weren't hybrids in the same sense as a labradoodle or a centaur. No, they were definitely all bus. However, they had an electric motor as well as a conventional diesel engine, which meant less pollution and generally 'greener' credentials. They would even announce the name of the next stop. Most impressively, they moved away from a bus stop relatively quietly before the main engine started. Not actually 'silently', mind you. These buses weren't likely to sneak up on you like a mischievous whale; more like a giant Scalextric car, really.

Sadly, I've not seen those high-tech hybrid buses in Ringmer for a while. I'm told it's because they're more efficient on shorter stop/start trips rather than the marathon journey to our village. Oh well. At least I can talk to myself on the top deck without being interrupted by an invisible conductor.

As I look up from my daydreaming, I spot another 28 bus pulling away from me. Drat. I've already had one free Waitrose coffee, so I don't want to wait another 30 minutes. The bus begins its little dance around the town centre. Hang on a moment. Here’s an idea. I reckon I can just about sprint to the bus stop outside Tesco while it's messing about. Running my own victory lap, you might say.

First published on vivalewes.com 23rd January 2014: www.vivalewes.com